The end of the world came and went. Christmas came and went. New Years came and went. My seasonal Macy’s job came and went. And now Winter break is done-zo. So what am I doing? Taking two extra days off to go wine tasting, of course. But it is January, and like a good Catholic considering what will be given up for Lent, I am considering my new year resolutions. Let’s hope they don’t fade away by February. Here goes:
1. Typical, number one, average American resolution – lose weight. To quote Chris Farley, I have what doctors call “a weight problem”. I have every opportunity to do so; I have a mother and grandmother who critique everything I consume, I am an active weight watchers member with the fancy etools doo-dad on my mobile device, and I am surrounded by hills covered in hiking trails. So really, time to get out of the morbidly obese BMI range.
2. Get the f out of town. My friends and I always talk about planning trips to fun places, but the only place we ever make it to is some free wine tasting or maybe Tahoe. Not to knock either one of those options but hey, they have free wine elsewhere in the world. Picture it: E!’s new series – Megan and Lindsay Take New York. You know you’d watch. Lindsay, chasing men in boat shoes. Me, getting drunk and auditioning for Broadway musicals.
3. Get out of my parents’ damn house. Is it comfortable and cheap here? Absolutely. Am I going to be 25, have a bachelor degree and still working as temp though? Hopefully not. Dreamin’ big here, guys. Time to apply for grad school so I can get a full time job with benefits to pay for the liver disease I am most likely acquiring.
Of course I am shooting for meeting all three of these goals, but if even one of them happens, I’ll be pretty happy. I have pretty low standards. Maybe that could be part of resolution number 4….